'I promise, no ruffles or puffy sleeves — will you be my bridesmaid, please?'
So the bride popped the question with the cutest gesture and gift box, how can you say no? Well if you are like me then you are already thinking and calculating in your head how much the dress and the other expenses will cost! It’s a very normal thought that can cause mixed feelings but stay positive, it’s going to be a fun ride.
On a more serious note why were you chosen and what are your responsibilities?. I have met people who have vowed not to be part of any wedding/bridal party because of previous experiences. That is a personal decision, however, a lot of people miss the point of being in the bridal party.
Just so it's clear, the couple didn’t go selecting people at random, (this is not a trial) they took time to think, and then chose you because
· You are family (biological/by association)
· You have something in common with them
· You have been best friends with either of them for decades
· You are part of their church family
· You have the looks (lol)
· They can count on you
· Someone asked them to add you
The point is, you have been CHOSEN and should consider it an honor. It is also a commitment that comes with a lot of dos and don’ts.
LETS START WITH THE DONTS:
· As part of the bridal party you don’t go blabbing details about the wedding to people who are not in the party, everything is confidential and you are sworn to wedding secrecy lol.
· You don’t argue with the bride about her choices and decisions, you can nicely suggest or share an opinion but don’t force it on them. This is how relationships fall apart and you should avoid that.
· You are not in any position to tell the couple what to do with their money and time,` just do what they ask of you and be a good sport.
· Also don’t isolate yourself from group discussions and be hard-headed, get acquainted with the guys and gals.
NOW, WHAT IS THE BRIDAL PARTY GOOD FOR?
Every couple has expectations for everyone on their team. They expect you to be their backbone, support system, ugly criers, task managers, buy clothing in a timely manner and if you are religious, their prayer team. They know they can count on you and that’s why you are there.
The party is made up of different people who have come together because of their relationship with the couple, most likely there are 5 other people you have never met, this is your chance to get to know others and make new friends. The groom and his men do this effortlessly while the bride and the ladies take some time to get acquainted.
Because of how tedious the planning process can be having a supportive team in your corner can be a blessing. In recent times people think of bridal party’s as just the LIT and TURN UP group, they are only there for the party but this shouldn’t be the case. Gone are the days when weddings used to be easy and simple, now people have expensive tastes and there are so many options to pick from in every ‘department’ including the dress selection, the hotel, venue, and the vendors.
The good news is they don’t have to do everything by themselves, they have ‘helpers’ and a good support system whom they can set expectations for. The couple is allowed to assign tasks including finding and recommending vendors, going for fittings, planning get-together’s, bachelor/bachelorettes and stepping in on behalf of them when they are not available. You have to advocate, encourage and intercede/pray for them as well because during this season lots of tension arise, there are disagreements, decisions to be made and oppositions to be met.
The bottom line is don’t think of this as an obligation alone, think of the bridal party as an uplifting group and you will enjoy the experience because honestly, they can’t say “I do” without you.
DISCLAIMER: It’s your day, your choice, this is just my ✌🏾cents from experience and being a boss planner :)
-The Boss Planner